FriENDs?

Heeeeellllllooooo!!
Ok. so maybe i am stealing Marcus Butler's tagline here on out ( and if you don't know who he is SHAME ON YOU) whatever.
anyway hello! welcome. sit. make yourselves comfy.
and hey WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT!! its the end of January already :0

no matter.

All is not lost, except for the  tiny fact that I really haven't stuck to my "blog-once-in-a-week-all-year" resolution. yay me! yay us! for really sticking to those new year resolutions *rolling eye emoji*

Anyway here's what i wanted to talk to you guys about today ~ FRIENDSHIP, more like:

Beautiful, Wonderful, Cursed, FriENDship

Ok so first up, sorry if this post is a tad gloomy. i know i know.. its a happy blog, not a sad one. APOLOGIES. I'm only human and I feel like I can talk to you guys more openly than any old friend i might ever have. So excuse moi  and hear me out.

Here's the deal if any of you guys have ever watched the hit telecom series- "F.R.I.E.N.D.S" ya'll probably know what i'm talking about. I'm talking about friends that light up your world like nobody else. I'm talking about the one's with whom you've got a whole lot of history. Those friends who are literally The story of  your life. 

GOSH ALL DEM ONE DIRECTION PUNS GIVE ME THE FEELS x'{

anyway....

Remember those friends? well in my case I've never really had any of them. 

no seriously! I've had a few really close friends and even a "bestie" once. but never have I ever had a BFF. 

Now recently, after I joined college, I met a group of  girls who I personally thought were THE SHIT. like honestly I fell for them on day one. They were honestly sooooo dope, I thought I'd finally found me some friends. Some REAL friends. WE hung out a lot and spent tons of time with each other. we even had our own group-jam ( don't ask me what it is, its top secret xD). We travelled together. Had sleepovers. Shared secrets. OH THOSE ALL IMPORTANT SECRETS. 

But lately We've begun to drift apart. I mean NO explanations. No working things out together. NOTHING. and one fine day We had this major fall-out. Things have never been the same since.

I've moved away from our otherwise-designated bench, all the way across to the other side of class... which makes me feel like i'm all alone in the nasty ghetto's of some god forsaken Manhattan alley-way in the dark while rats fall over my head. CONSTANTLY. ( gosh I make it sound soo morbid sorry!) 

Once I got over that, i had to face the utterly heart-breaking fact that we were never going to speak to each other again. EVER....and for a fairly optimistic person like me, Silence is probably the one thing that tops my list of phobia's along with balloons, heights and cows.

And as if that wasn't enough the three of them are now hell-bent trying to convince our class off a 109 kids  that I'm spreading rumors about them, when I know for a fact that I haven't told anyone about anything.

... and one tiny little detail I forgot to mention, the person who tipped them off about certain things that probably pissed them off big-time? another "FRIEND" whom I'd decided to confide in earlier.

and the best part? the four of us are in the same group that have to present a presentation on monday. TOGETHER. AS A GROUP. and no guesses for who still isn't talking to whom.

someone shoot me already -_-

METAPHORICALLY. I AM NOT SUICIDAL.

All in all this week has been pretty much gone from bad to worse for me

 but here's the bright side...

I HAD AN EPIPHANY

(Sometimes I really thank God for putting these little random thoughts in my head that make me feel much better.)

I had recently finished reading this book by one of my favorite YouTuber's ~Zoe Sugg ( A.K.A Zoella) called " Girl Online", where the protagonist Penny ( who also happens to be a blogger!) faces quite a few predicaments similar to mine. In the book there's this one chapter where she talks (blogs) about how she's equally befuddled about friends. can one simply grow out of them? Is is normal for them to grow apart? here's what penny says-

Here's what I have to say-

I’ve decided that I’m not going to try to squeeze myself into a friendship that hurts me anymore. I’m going to let them go and just be friends with people who make me feel good about myself.

Thanks for reminding me,US, that Penny! sometimes, we just have to stop overthinking things. It's not the end of the world. 

Maybe people like you and I are Dandelions. We're the stems and at some point we are going to have to let the fluffy seeds that make us whole, fly away... hoping that someday they'll decide to settle down and grow into sensible, strong stems like us.

and for that little epiphany.... I shall be eternally grateful :)

Until next week ( if I'm not too lazy again xD)

Maria